“I have accepted fear as part of life – specifically the fear of change…I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back…” –Erica Jong
I’m packing…again. And if there’s one thing that can stir up a multitude of emotions in me it’s that. Packing means leaving something, somewhere, or someone behind. Of course it also means excitement, wonder, adventure, change, opportunity – and those my friends, are my addictions. Thus the epic internal battle begins.
At any time in my life, no matter where I was heading off to, as the date nears I become unbelievably sad to be leaving the comforts of home: family, friends, my dog, memories, acceptance, ease, familiarity – home. Fear grips me, doubt sets in, emotions soar, tears fall. But deep down I know I need to push through and continue forth, so I do. I always do. And the reason I do is because through past experience I know it’s always going to be alright: whether an amazing adventure or a colossal failure but a great lesson, it’s a win-win situation either way.
I’ve grown comfortable here at home over the past two months. I’ve soaked up everything I love about being here: long chats with friends over coffee and wine, spending time with family, walking my dog each and every day, sleeping next to an open window, cooking and eating healthy meals, and simply being in nature as much as possible. And while I often try to imagine what it would be like to stay put here, to allow myself to enjoy all of this forever without a looming end date, deep down in my soul I know I’m meant to keep moving.
Crossing the threshold from the known into the unknown is always the hardest part. But once that part’s over with it gets easier from there. I should know; I’ve been doing it for the past 10 years of my life. I know these feelings like an old friend. And while many people assume such feelings are warning signs to turn back, I know they are simply the natural human reaction to change of any kind. It’s how you handle it that matters most.
I love home. But I have leaving home to thank for it, as every time I leave I learn to appreciate it that much more. Let the journey begin! For haven’t you heard? Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all!