My mom asked today why I haven’t been blogging. I suppose when your mother begins asking for a blog post it’s the right time to blog. But honestly, I lost my desire to blog while at the farm when much of the outside world seemed a distant memory. I was so fulfilled by the peace and simplicity and accomplishing the day-to-day tasks that nothing else seemed to matter. I liked it; it was the mental and emotional break I needed from all that has come to plague me lately.
And now I am a hermit in the mountains where again the outside world seems far, far away. Well, mostly. Without so many farm duties to keep me occupied I do find myself retreating into the same old thought patterns at times. Yet I’m battling these thoughts with a new lifestyle commitment: the path of non-action!
What is that, you ask? Well, it doesn’t mean I literally do nothing, (in fact I’m pretty lousy at doing nothing – ADD anyone?), but it’s having faith in life developing as it should, without being the pushy director, without stressing and striving over what tomorrow may bring. It’s the mindset of “let-go and let God.” I’ve been developing this mindset ever since I resigned from the ship and ever since I’ve begun taking stock in how many of my great, awesome plans and relationships have failed epically. Therefore I’m taking a much needed vacation from planning, plotting, hoping, needing, wishing… I’m throwing my arms back, kicking up my feet and saying here, you do it. I’ll simply go along with whatever you want, no questions asked.
What’s it feel like? Amazing. Liberating. Exciting. For the first time in my life (well since the naivety and innocence of childhood) I’ve given up worrying about tomorrow. When I do find myself once again wanting to take the reigns out of fear or doubt, I simply remind myself of my path, breathe deeply, and get back on it.
But just so my mom doesn’t worry too much about me and my new path in life here’s proof that the non-action lifestyle doesn’t mean I’m literally sitting around doing nothing:
I still eat, exhibit A:
I still go on daily hikes with my pals, exhibit B:
I still read, exhibit C:
I still write, exhibit D:
I still gather wood and prepare fires (and drink lots of coffee) so I don’t freeze to death, exhibit E:
And most importantly, and perhaps the best way to convince others I’m still alive, I still take selfies, exhibit F:
While there’s a thin line between non-doing and simply being apathetic that’s often hard to decipher between, I see it like this: unless the feeling really moves me, I do nothing. Therefore I will still seek out the things that feel natural and right and have made themselves known through moments of clarity, but I won’t make any decisions based out of fear, doubt, or restlessness and societal pressures. I keep asking myself what is the worst that can happen by living this lifestyle and the answer I continue to come up with is that I may be living out of my car for a bit, but honestly, that’s not really all that bad! I find the back seat quite comfy and love waking up to the sunrise, and I have ultimate freedom. There are positives to be found in every seemingly negative, and often what is our worst fear is not so bad after all. If I said the worst thing that could happen is I die, I may rethink my plan, but this lifestyle isn’t that dangerous folks.
So I’m doing it, I’m going to do nothing. And I’m excited to see where doing nothing gets me. There is no better way to be pleasantly surprised by the gifts and ebb and flows of life by being an open receiver, by trusting the creator knows best. I do not know what I will be doing or where I will be living two weeks from now, but I will continue to believe it will all enfold as it should, when it should.
“By holding firm, by not taking any action urged by our fearful or boastful inferior nature, we insist in bringing about the correct result. Through non-action – doing nothing at all – we achieve everything.” – A Guide to the I Ching