A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. – George Moore
We sat on Laguna Beach for what would be our last west coast sunset. It was a pivotal moment; we were deciding what was next.
We came together for the ultimate goal of creating a duo and getting work in overseas resorts. When that didn’t go as planned we scrambled to find other options. But disappointment has been the name of the game lately. While amazing things have taken place along the way (house sitting, a trip to Mexico, and currently our road trip back east which has turned out some great surprises along the way), we both felt like we needed a vacation from this “vacation”. Mentally, physically, and emotionally we are spent. So it was on the beach we had come to many times before to take in the sunset, to wonder at California’s splendors, to feel alive, that we decided it was time to “throw in the towel” and start over again from the comforts of home. For the first time in months we turned the car east and drove.
The ocean soon gave way to mountains, which gave way to desert, which gave way to the flat farmland and grey skies we currently see as we drive through Texas. Once we get to Birmingham, Alabama we will part ways. He managed to line up a cruise ship gig in Australia and I will continue north to Ohio where I will then begin constructing a new adventure, a new direction, a new plan. But I’m aware of the one lesson I’ve come to learn again and again throughout these past few months: the best laid plans…
My newly discovered and favorite guru Osho teaches that if you go in search of the new just for the experience, that all experiences are just tricks of the mind, an escape. But if you want to know the experiencer, the whole emphasis changes. I feel I have grown in so many ways over these past few months. The things I have seen and done and the hardships and challenges I have faced as well as the internal work I have been doing have molded me into what I would like to believe is a better and stronger person, that much closer to discovering the essence of who I am. I don’t believe the quote I used to open this post means one must literally go “home” to find what he needs, but that with traveling, with challenging ourselves, with facing our fears, one can finally find the home inside of himself that was always there, that simply needed to be uncovered/discovered.
And then remember surrender: whenever you want to move beyond yourself, surrender is the way. Whenever you long to move beyond, somewhere else where you are not, then surrender, let-go is the path. Allow something to happen to you; don’t manipulate. And once you know how to allow, many things will start happening. You may not even be aware of what is possible for you. – Osho
I’m surrending. I’m going home to begin again. But the experiencer in me is not done yet.