Life moves fast here in Los Angeles. I’ve been living here going on three months now and feel as if I’ve lived three completely different lives during that short period of time. Upon arriving I was ecstatic and everything felt surreal. I made friends quickly and jumped at any opportunity to go out and mingle; to soak in my surroundings blissfully unperturbed.
Practically the last year of my life was spent in a free-spirited romp across North America. I house sat not once, but twice. I lived on a farm. I drove to Mexico. I lived randomly; sporadically; free. I lived life on a whim and I loved every moment of it. Even now, although I’ve decided to lay down roots here in LA, I’m still making it a priority to create a life that I will not only continue to be excited about, but one that also allows me as much freedom as possible – as I can no longer imagine living life any other way.
In this short period I have managed to not only score one job but two, and both are flexible enough to provide wiggle room. Still, I have had many moments where I broke down in pure anxiety-induced panic attacks by thoughts of working again; of being stuck somewhere; of making and keeping commitments. I am a wild, untamable mare; if you try to build a fence around me, watch out.
But by continuing to take things a day at a time and concentrating on what’s immediately before me and not behind or ahead, and by putting off all worrying until tomorrow, (after all, tomorrow is another day…) I always overcome my anxieties. One day at a time is truly my mantra these days.
I’m still having fun. I’m loving my new jobs as hiking guide and dog walker and the occasional paid-audience member. I continue to be in awe of my new life and surroundings daily. The knowledge that it was all created by facing my fears and following my heart into the unknown, while being continuously guided by my gut and intuition, and that I continue to create my experiences and paint my canvas any way I want each and every day is mind-boggling. But it’s true: WE are the sole creators of our own lives. We get to choose everything that goes onto our canvas’ and everything that stays off. And remember, the only purpose in life is to be happy. Follow your greatest excitement at each moment as if they are breadcrumbs which will lead you down your truest path.
For now I choose for my canvas to be painted with the eclectic people, places and things of southern California, and to continue to fight off the desires to run, which I innately always want to do, in exchange for a bit of stability and routine, with the hopes it leads to a life I love and can be proud of, surrounded by good friends and joy – and of course – sunshine, mountains, and the ocean.